i failed. i failed miserably. yes, i did soo much. too much. and in what frame of mind did I do it? survival. suck it up and power through. say yes, and say it quick before your common sense kicks in.
Today, as I sit here and hurt and wonder what on Earth was worth this much damage, I feel nothing close to pride, strength and resilience, i feel...blah.
I was watching oprah today. yep, i turned the tv on occasionally again, but I've really enjoyed her lifeclass tour - it's like a therapy session from my bed, and today was a doozie. She had that Iyanlah on, and my oh my - that woman has been blessed with some serious clarity and she has the cohones to tell it like it is. She was talking about the whole giving more than you have to give of yourself...thing. She was talking about keeping your cup full for YOU, not anyone else, and what is overflowing, that (and only that) can you give to others. When you are giving and giving and giving away chunks of you that you don't have to give then you are making those that you are giving to thieves.
Be as good to yourself as you want to be to God.
deep. but true. more later.
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