Eating plants.

I walked, okay waddled, into the health food store today and things felt right.  I have got to find alternatives for easy, cheap crap food.  I lay in bed and plan things to make but when I make it to the kitchen and think about the energy it will take to stand at the stove, well - I put some peanut butter on a piece of bread and go lay down.  And that's a good day.  If I eat one more happy meal I think the guilt may do me in.  And veggies?  Yeah - don't eat em.  at all.  One can't expect their body to heal itself on sugar, butter and bread alone. honey, if that were the case I would have healed years ago.

I daily reference my pet's guide to healthy living - http://www.veganmommychef.blogspot.com/ and wish I could be at her supper table every night.  post coming about this pet of mine and how different she is than most people's.  Anyway, Pet is the only one that can get me to eat my vegetables. I don't know how she does it, but somehow she makes them edible.  And her sweets! Oh man, they are delightful, and usually very healthy.  She understands the chemistry of food so well that she know how to make healthy substitutes in her baking.  One day I must go to the culinary school of Pet, I think that is the only way it is going to work - me and my sweet tooth, that is.  I must break the happy meal chain before I am responisble for feeding more than just me.

So I walked into Sprouts and smiled a little.  All natural beauty products, essential oils, millions of vitamins I am sure I am supposed to be taking.  Everyone in there was trying, trying not to eat the crap and live that life, and I was happy to be mistaken for one of them.  I'm working on it, but definitely don't deserve the t-shirt yet.  I did buy a plant, though.  A basil plant.  I love that herb and figured this was a good first step into my own herb garden and ultimately, a hippie life :)  Guarded with one my pet's recipes for a cauliflower pasta bake, I was convinced I would be victorious and energetically head home to cook it on up.  I might have had to text her a million times to ask what exactly tahini was and where I might find miso, but I got mostly what I needed. I'm gonna hold off on buying big jars of the expensive stuff until I am situated somewhere (anywhere) because that $13 bag of xantham gum has been staring at me for years saying, 'you'll never use me, you know you won't.'

My energy left me and I found myself hanging on to the cart just to walk.  I've only caved in and rode the motor scooter buggy thing one time (that was a dark day), and was determined that today just wouldn't be number 2.  I walked through the parking lot, sat down in the seat, and decided to take a little rest before I turned the car on.  This is usually where I wonder if I'm up to driving home or should I call for a ride.  Home was only 15 minutes away, I could make it so off I finally went.  Was I tempted to drive through Taco Bell.  Yes, yes I was. I knew my hopes of cooking tonight were shot but figured there had better be something else I could muster up at home.  By the time I got home it was looking pretty ugly, things were spinning and I managed a few day old taco meat on a tortilla and headed into the office (my bed).

These are goals I'm making and they will take time (and a whole lot of patience).  Did I essentially eat that blasted taco bell..probably.  But I tried, and I will keep trying.  That cauliflower dish will taste just as good tomorrow, or the next day.  even though I hate cauliflower.  I'm trying, Pet!