Assistend Living

No, I'm not going there yet!  Not really.

A few years back, I was watching Oprah and she was interviewing this very successful CEO of some company.  Oprah was asking her how she did it, how she kept up with all the demands of her job and maintain a life and her response has stuck with me for a long time.  "You are never too old to be in assisted living."

She went on to explain that she has someone that cleans her house, she has someone that picks up her dry-cleaning, and she is completely comfortable with that.  She spends her time where she is needed most and for everything else, she outsources.  Yeah, sure, wouldn't it be great if she really could do it all (and do it all really well), but she fully admitted that she can't and so why on Earth would she kid herself by trying to. Even this woman, with all her degrees and her fancy titles and prestige is no wonderwoman! And she freely admitted it.

I realized right then and there that that is why she has become so successful, she knows how to ask for help.

When I lived in Africa, it was common (pretty much the norm), to see families of means have a cook and a maid in their home.  Even those who probably couldn't afford it would sacrifice to at least have someone come in a few days a week.  They accepted expected that they would need this help, guilt free.  They would be shocked to hear that American women usually do it all themselves.  And many of them working full time jobs, too.  Shocked.  'You mean, everything?'  yup. 'And at home - the cleaning - all of it?'  yup.  'the shopping and cooking, too?'  yup.   That sounded crazy to them, and after a while, it sounded a little crazy to me, too.  No wonder why American women are so stressed!  Would it really be so bad if we got a little help with it all?

I was thinking about how homes were run in England 150 years back. Okay, I was watching Pride and Prejudice.  These women had help.  Lots of it!  They weren't cleaning the entire house, fixing all the meals, all the while maintaining a spotless appearance, etc - they had a whole staff to help them!  (oh wouldn't that be nice).

Now, I know that this just isn't possible these days, (and our homes are a fraction of the size) but how quickly we have gone from living with a whole staff to help to taking on everything ourselves!  One now has all of the jobs that used to take so many people to complete.  No wonder we have a hard time keeping up with everything. No wonder why we often feel like failures, of course we are not going to be able to do it all (and do it well).

So what gives?  What can give?  Money is tight, and few people have the resources these days. I sure don't have any magic answers.  Yet I hope one day that we can get to a place like that woman on Oprah and enter into some kind of guilt-free assisted living, seeing just how successful we can be at something instead of fizzling at everything.

whatever your part is, act well thine part.    (so pick a part).

now me admitting that I need to somehow hire an assistant to help me when shooting weddings? like salt on a wound, i tell ya.