Since when can you only be as well as your doctor's level of compassion?
I keep thinking this thought over and over in my head and know I need to realize that it isn't them that are going to cure me - only the Lord can do that with oh, the right time, for starters.
Ready for another crazy doc story? herewego.
Since they found all of that endometriosis in March they have put me on so much birth control that - (I was trying to think of a funny line to finish this sentence with but it's not coming - I'll spare you any attempt). Anyway - too much b.c. That stuff will make ya nuts. And big - real big. At least that is what it does to me, has always done to me, and every time I get off of it I swear never again. So we've changed types, dosages, etc, but seriously, that stuff just isn't good for me.
So I made an appt with an ob/gyn up here at the U, made sure all of my medical records were transferring, and waited a short 7 weeks for the first appointment available with the doctor I wanted's colleague who looked creepy from his picture on the internet.
I digress. I wait 2 hours in my little exam room, luckily I brought a book to read so I wouldn't have to stare at those blasted posters on the wall one more minute, and waited. and waited. He comes in, doesn't shake my hand, won't look me in the eyes and says, 'Who told you you have endo?" 'Um.. my old doctor in Dallas said I had stage 2-3.' 'I need proof,' he says. Great - old doctor's office didn't send the records. I try and explain more and he says, 'well, if you are telling the truth and you do have it, I'm going to give you a shot.' I asked what kind of shot. He casually replied the long name of it and said it is the best treatment for endo. I asked for a little more info. 'Oh, you know, it works because it enduces menopause.' huh? 'There will be hot flashes, mood swings and headaches for the first year but most women says that gets better with time.' I kindly inquire if I would be able to ever get out of menopause and maybe have some babies one day (body willing). 'Um, maybe - but you'll definitely need the help of a fertility doctor to do that, after this shot.' Um, yeah - let's not do that. 'I'm going to need to think about this,' is what came out of my mouth. He switched my bc to yet another one to see in the meantime.
"Oh, one more question," I said as he was walking out the door 45 seconds after he came in. "I have this bump sticking out of my lower left side, right by my hip bone and it's really starting to hurt, could you maybe look at it and tell me what it is?' Over his shoulder he said, 'sounds like a hernia. I'll refer you to a surgeon.' Wouldn't look at it. Wouldn't touch it. He just left. mmmkay.
The nurse came in after that with an order to do an ultrasound on my endo. News to me but okay - I've had that pleasure many a time by now.
So - a week later the ultrasound was done (
those ultrasounds deserve their own relaxing morphine cocktail as part of the procedure, in my opinion). a week after that I had another lovely appt at which I had pleaded my old doc's office to forward the records to this guy one more time. I show up - his nurse says until they have no records there is nothing to be done so we'll have to cancel. I asked if we could at least talk about the ultrasound. He walks in, looks at me, and then just walks out. kay. He comes back and says, 'ready for your shot?' "I think I'm gonna pass, actually, there are just too many risks and side effects.' 'Well, you do need a fertility doctor, anyway - I don't treat endo.' Okay, um, not really trying to get pregnant. "If you ever want to get pregnant, you need to start with one now to maintain fertility." Oh just get me out of here.
"Oh, how was that ultrasound, by the way,' I asked. 'Normal. Completly normal' No surprise to me since all of mine have been normal which took so blasted long to diagnose the thing - with an exploratory little operation. I asked him if he could look at that knot on my lower side that really has been hurting. "It's a hernia,' he replies back, not even looking in that direction, not wanting to examine it. "What did the ultrasound say it was?' "Oh, they said it was a swollen lymph node but I'm telling you, it's a hernia."
I left. With my referral to my hernia surgeon and fertility doctor (you should see some of the questions I have to answer, or really can't answer on that guy's questionnaire).
We'll keep trying. Maybe a shaman, at this point?
ps - dragged myself to hernia doc this morning - oh this guy was too cute! Little old japanese guy who I just wanted to hug. He really was just precious. He looked at it, felt it and after 5 seconds said, 'this is not a hernia, not even close. just a swollen lymph node.' Followed by, 'your ob/gyn should really know the difference.' Yup. he should.
YAY FOR NO HERNIA!
