The ass

oh this one is another doozie for the bad doc books.  I really am just a walking medical malpractice suit, aren't I? I'm trying to put it behind me though and stay positive but I'm gonna write this down to keep it for oh, I don't know, posterity.

Update on the nerves....they think they have found which nerve is causing all of the problems.  For a year they have been zapping, frying, blocking and messing with the trigeminal nerve and now they are thinking it is the occipital nerve.  I should thank Dr Stewart, my fatigue guy, actually - it was his suggestion.  They did a nerve block and that helped about 30 percent for a couple of day but at least it was something!! I went back to my pain guy (who will now be dubbed... the ass, as that's the only name I can think to call him) and he suggested we try a radial frequency ablation on the occipital nerve.  Sure, why not, just drug me good this time, that last one hurt like the dickens.

So I show up and I beg the nurse to give me more loopy drugs than the last time.  "We gave you plenty last time," she says.  Nope, no you didn't. In the middle of it while you were heating the nerve for 90 consecutive seconds and I was screaming and you kept saying, 'you won't remember any of this and you have no idea you are in pain', why yes, yes I remember that.  Really, would it kill you just to add a bit more?  We go back and forth and back and forth and it wasn't until I was in there and they were frying more nerves and I was screaming that they indeed went ahead and gave me another little something.  oh their poor pride, how I must have wounded it.

So we zapped nerves.  That evening I thought it might have felt about 40% better!  I was at my aunts house who so graciously drove me and I had a nice dinner and went right to bed. I woke up and 5, well, screaming. Okay, maybe not screaming but definitely writhing in pain.  Why can I never sit still when I am in pain????  Anyway, big massive head going to explode pain.  It wasn't in the spot where they injected me at the base of my neck, it was high forehead area, where I never ever have migraines.  I got up, took an Imitrex (always knocks migraines out), got an icepack, and tried to go back to bed.  After an hour of more dramatic writhing I decided I had better get in the car and drive back to my apartment where I still had some Dilaudid left over from my surgery.  Dilaudid is big business and you had better be in serious pain to take it because it makes you feel so weird and gross that by choosing it you are really only taking the lesser of two evils.  Me driving down the road with an ice pack to my head, moaning and crying with a worried hound dog on my lap must have been quite a site.

I made it home, barely, but the pain had amplified so much by then that I called mom and she gave me the two words she saves for only when she can hear the need in my voice: 'emergency room'.  I opened the apartment door, let the dog in and ran back to the car.  I knew I could call for a ride but I needed to get there now and the thought of being in 20 more minutes of pain while I waited for a ride was nuts.  I made it there in record time and walked in crying and moaning and writhing and they just opened the door right up for me. A nurse had me in a room right away and turned the lights out and sent for the doctor.  They must have been having a slow day because the doc came right in - hey I was in major pain but I wasn't dying here.

We talked, she sent the nurse for supplies to draw blood and then I get, 'are you pregnant?' nope.  not pregnant. not even a slight possibility.  'yes, we hear that a lot but how can you be so sure? we need to do a pregnancy test before I can give you pain meds'. fine.  whatever.  give me the stick I will pee on it and then give me the drugs.  'at this hospital we only do a blood test to determine pregnancy so we will have to draw that and wait about an hour for the lab results to come in.' BUT I AM NOT PREGNANT AND WTF????????????

They gave me some ibuprofen and some anti-nausea stuff in my iv and left me alone to writhe (can I use that word anymore) for an hour or so.  Serious pain always come with serious nausea for some reason.  Then they dramatically came in and announced I wasn't pregnant.  shocker, there.  Then they gave me some stronger pain stuff which knocked about 50 percent of it out but I was still crying at that point. They thought maybe there might be a brain bleed going on from the procedure I had had the day before so they did a cat scan..no prob...those things are so much quicker than MRI's. That came back clear but they said there is a small percentage of brain bleeds that don't show up in cat scans so we needed to do a spinal tap to really rule it out. yuck.  I've had three of those and they are not fun..well, if they can knock you out to do them so you don't feel needles going into your spine and that feeling of them sucking fluid out, it is tolerable.  'No, we don't do that here,' she said, 'you'll be wide awake.'  yuck.  I called a friend from church and she came and held my hand and they did it and I gave me more pain meds and left me to lie flat for a few hours.

So I did. No brain bleed.  Just a freak migraine they said.  I get migraines, they are bad but that wasn't a migraine. I thought Jesus was coming to get me last Saturday.  They said it was probably because of something going wrong with my procedure and I should follow up with the doc (you mean, the ass) who did it. I went home, I slept, I wore my back brace with ice packs, I moved on.

I called the ass' office on Monday to let them know what had happened.  "Okay', said his nurse, 'what is it you would like us to do for you?'.  Hmmm..... thanks for that lady.  We moved my follow up appt a bit sooner and she said we would figure it out Wednesday.  On Wednesday and I waddled my way into his office with my back brace on and they called me back just as usual.  His 25 year old med student/ pa/ whatever came in and asked how the procedure went.  'Uh, you mean you didm' hear?'  No, no she hadn't. She asked a bunch of questions and said it probably wasn't something to worry about and I should come back in a month. ummmmm yeah... where is the doc?  She stepped out to go get him (or so I thought) and came back in and said, 'the doctor says sometimes this procedure makes the pain worse and to not worry about it and come back in a month.'  seriously?  I told her that it helped the nerves a little bit but gave me the headache of all headaches.  'It should be fine.'  I asked her where the doctor was and she said he was really busy (even though I could hear him making small talk in the hallway) and I should just come back in a month.  "maybe try a massage,' she said, 'or have someone rub your head.'  Okay at this point I was just getting mocked so I left, tears flowing, waddling back to my car and wondering how on Earth a doc can put you in ER and not even have the decency to come in and talk to you.

Whatever. It is what it is. I've realized compassion truly is a precious commodity these days and medicine is now just pill mills and procedure after procedure.  I won't be visiting the ass again, to say the least.