night time

I've been really trying to protect my quiet time at night, these days.  When you are on bed rest, the days and nights and pajamas all mix together and any time is as good as any other to put a movie on, check some emails, eat and then at some point just try and turn over and sleep (i.e. - that was my 5-9pm today).   There becomes no pattern, I always feel like a mess and it can be hard to have a rhythm to your day.

I keep wanting to just lay in bed at night and read, ya know, like normal people do.  Instead, I find myself connected to something with speakers and an on/off switch well into the night (many photographers have the horrible habit of editing pictures well into the night while everyone else sleeps), and then just turn it off and roll-over to sleep. Not healthy, people.

I remember when I was in school I would come home from the library or my blasted office around 2 am and just sit in the tub, oh that blessed claw foot tub in the 100 year old slanted house.  There was a window in the bathroom and the moon would be framed perfectly in it as I sat in my tub in total darkness and had the first bit of silence to my day.

After my bath, no tv, no school books, no work stuff, just me and my big bed and a book.  Sometimes I made it through a page, sometimes more, but that was my time, my blessed middle of the night quiet DC street time.  I miss that - that time was all mine and even though I should have probably been sleeping, I had full ownership of that half hour and that was about the only thing in my life at that time that I had any say in.

I'm trying to make my night time something special again - something that I will look forward to each day in bed while answering emails and editing pictures....'just keep going and get these things done and then you'll be able to read.'

I'm working on it.  Even though this blog post was written at 11:53pm.  I'm working on it.