My summer plans

Don't really have any yet, to be honest. And I'm completely cool with that. Whenever such a huge space of time remains free, I've learned not to panic and try and book a bunch of shoots just so I can feel like I'm good for something.  I've learned that there is a reason for such a empty couple of months, and if I hang in there and respect that, it will fill up with something very worthwhile. 

The one thing I do know, though, is that I have to get out of the heat. Not-negotiable. Living through a Texas summer with CFS is like putting a 9-month pregnant woman in a tent in the sahara desert.  Why on Earth would you.  Summer 2010, I stayed in Dallas and it was one my sickest few months (and saddest), I've ever had. I was a prisoner to an air conditioner that wouldn't got below 85 in my room and the outside ceased to exist.  Everyday, I would wake up everyday and dread the next 12 hours.

I know, I know. Poor girl with a nice roof over her head and plenty of food to eat. I wish I could really help the outside world understand how bad the heat makes things. Just heat! You had might as well attach another 100lb weight to every limb, and then run a marathon at noon in the mexican desert. And then spin in circles until you want to puke. Oh and then stare right at the sun for about an hour (that sunlight burns your eyes shut). Thus, the TV would stay on, the air conditioning would blare, and I would suffocate. dramatic? yes. but this is it. the difference is night and day.

So, since I can, I'm gonna get out of that mess.  Yes, I feel like the biggest wimp doing it, but hey, you come ride that rodeo and then tell me about it.  I survived 18 Texas summers, a year in Africa, a summer in Thailand working in the hot sun all day drenched in sweat (and loved it), honey - I know hot. Yet, since I've been sick it just doesn't work.  I'll probably head up to mom's in Utah, help a couple of photographers out there, and rest.  It sounds so pathetic to even write, but hey, as long as I stay in a good space doing it, and come out of that summer better than I came into it, I'll be doing a good job. It really is okay, it really is enough.

I have put out quite a few feelers to some of my favorite film photographers, too, though.  Anywhere.  A few weeks, a month, maybe even longer - I don't care - I just want to shadow some film shooters and learn the workflow of it, how to prepare for a wedding with it.  Now will that perfect opportunity arise and just happen to be in Carmel, California with someone who has a little shack in their backyard Woodrow and I can hang out in?  Some secluded little cabin in the mountains somewhere?  The San Juan Islands, even? Maybe not.  But something, somewhere (even in Utah) will work out and by September, my summer will have made a lot more sense than it does now.  Feeling guilty for being such a wuss, I used to try and just suck it up and deal with it; now I realize I don't have to. I just really don't have to.

In the meantime, I'm gonna shoot as much as I can should, save up, and get ready for that cool breeze.


*addendum - got an offer from a photographer in n. california, let's see if we can work it all out.